uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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