The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
love makes seman taste better
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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