thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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