I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
