what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just want nice things and good sex
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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