Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
