I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
