If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
