lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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