I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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