Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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