wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
