Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
