Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
