I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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