I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
