One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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