That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize