Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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