i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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