Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
