I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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