Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
