shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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