Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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