talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
