That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
