you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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