She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
