And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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