Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
