Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
