It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
