Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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