i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
