I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
