i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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