oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
