Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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