I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
