Did you just see the Batmobile???
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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