I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
