i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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