Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
