? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
