i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize