i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
