on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
try to milk me bitch
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
