I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
