btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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