god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
