You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
