maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize