I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
