I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
