Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
