If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
