so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
