Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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