This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
