dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
