This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
