when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
even my farts smell like vagina
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
