elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
