I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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