hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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