I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
