i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize