I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
