I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize