you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
