no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize